new situation at work

I haven't been feeling happy at work lately.

As you kow, I've only started at this job in September and everything looked alright at first. But in December I felt a little dejected. The work itself is still fun, I like writing specifications and doing mock-ups. But I felt like busywork, not really useful. Plus I felt really disconnected, our team sits scattered over three rooms and doesn't feel like a team at all, the people in my rooms usually don't go to the cafeteria for lunch and the others usually forget to ask me. I don't know, it just didn't feel right.

Now since I felt like writing specifications wouldn't really fill all of my time and since I'm really interested in it, I wanted to see if I could do more work concerning usability and user experience. I think it's really closely related to the work I'm doing anyway and the open position isn't filled yet. A co-worker is doing some work, but I know she's really busy with a lot of things. I just wasn't sure how to start... I didn't know who to tell about the idea and how and what to say and whether it was a good idea at all.

There's a lot of reorganisation going on and some time ago we were told that another departement would be joint with our team. We were also told that there wouldn't be much change for us, team e-commerce experts, but mainly for the others.
Now today we got a mind map from our boss and tomorrow there's a meeting concerning our reorganisation. Much to my surprise, I am transfered to another team, team "requirements management" - as the only one from our current team. ... I really didn't expect that at all.
First of all that will make it more difficult to do more usability-related work because that job will remain withing the other team. Secondly after just a few months in the company I'll have completely different team mates. Since I've not been feeling very connected with my current team mates, I'm thinking that this isn't necessarily - but it's not easy either. I hardly know these people, I've maybe seen them once for a few minutes (and they all know each other). And thirdly I'll have a new boss; well, my current boss will stay as my boss, but I'll have a team leader. I have heard rumours that he's not a very boss, though nothing precise, I am a little worried.
I feel insecure, I feel a little free falling, like there's no one/nothing to hold on to.

Since it quite suddenly got urgent I had a talk with my current boss about my idea of doing more usability-related work. It didn't go very well. I think... I'm not really sure. He disagreed with my worries of not having enough work to fill the day (apparently there's a long list of projects that all need a concept - but in my experience most projects from these long lists will never get done). He didn't want me to change into another position, said they needed me to write these specifications (I didn't mean to imply that I wanted another job). He did however say that he thinks it's a good thing that I give my ideas and my input and that I can work on usabilty stuff for maybe two days a week if I need to clear my head from writing specifications all the time (though it sounded a lot more like "two days" was just something he said at that moment and not actually an approval of spending exactly that time on it).
Unfortunately my boss is a very vague person, he doesn't give you precise input, he never tells me what to do. So now in a way I have an OK, but no starting point, nothing definite.

So tomorrow we'll have the meeting to talk about the changes, together with all the people from the two-became-one departement. I'm really a bit worried, and I don't know what to expect. I just had to get all these things off my chest, that's the reason for this hurried blog post. I hope I can sleep tonight. Read more on this article...

my first week at the new job

The first week at my new job is over. So far I'm not impressed.

Getting up early and getting to the office works out a little better than expected, I guess. Though the first two or three days were tough. I hope I'll get used to it. It's not easy for me, a night owl chronotype, to get to bed before 11 PM (I have to get up at 6 AM).
The problem is that, while they officially have flexi-time, there's a core time starting at 8:30 AM. It's ridiculous, really. The city is ugly, so no-one wants to live there and there are a lot of commuters. But still everyone has to be there at 8:30 AM - which in my opinion is way too early for core time. I could take a faster train and sleep longer, but I'd not quite arrive at 8:30 AM...

Generally, the company does not seem to have high regards for their employees and it's rather old-fashioned. Additionally to the disadvantage for night owls because of the early core time (which is unhealthy), flexi-time is rounded to 5 minutes - always to the disadvantage of the employee. So for example if you arrive at 8:21 AM and leave at 5:32 PM, it will be recorded as 8:25 and 5:30. I see absolutely no reason for this in modern times (your work time is recorded by chips anyway), except to make money. I guess that there'll be a lot of minutes over all the staff that won't be paid
Break time isn't very flexible either. You must take a 15 minutes breakfast break and 45 minutes lunch break. Your work time will automatically be reduced by at least one hour. If you go out for a break and it takes longer than 45 minutes, it will be that break time plus 15 minutes.
Whatever overtime you worked will be lost at each end of the month. So there's no way to keep a "security" amount of overtime for doctor's appointments, like I always used to. Of course the overtime will be deleted without you getting paid for it...
Oh, and even though everything is recorded in SAP, there's no way for you to take a look at what's stored.

Additionally to all those issues, I have not yet been welcomed by human ressources. I'm used to haveing a talk on the first day and have everything explained to me. The HR person responsible for me has been away on Monday and Tuesday, but has not contected me since. I tried to call and had a co-worker tell him I called - no reaction. I had to send an e-mail and ask for a meeting, then I got an appointment next Tuesday, called "your  issues" (or subjects or questions, I'm not quite sure how to translate). As if it's a special appointment for me and not something that should be a matter of course!
I also didn't have an introduction meeting with my boss. There's no team leader, so my boss is the departement chief. He's only in the office Tuesday to Thursday and in Berlin on the other days. He met me by chance when he came into the room on Tuesday and seemed to have forgotten about it all. We had a short talk, a few minutes, after a meeting I attended. But that's it.
So I'm pretty much left alone at work. I'm glad I already know two of my co-workers, otherwise I'd feel quite lost. They try to explain things to me the best they can.

Overall I don't feel treated very well.

But, to end this on a positive note, the room is quite nice. I've always only been in open plan offices, so it's quite a change. It's a small room with only three other people. It has windows looking out onto a quiet street, with some trees, but there's never any direct sun.



PS:
One other strange thing: installed on the computer are Lotus Notes, OpenOffice and MS Office. What do you need three different office suits for?! Read more on this article...

You say goodbye and I say hello

So today was my last day at work. Well, at this workplace anyway. I'm a bit sorry about the nice people I've met there, but overall I know it was right to quit. But I don't like saying good-bye, it's so hypocritical with some. People who you didn't get along with are suddenly very sorry to see you go and will totally miss you... blah blah blah.

I got 2,5 weeks off now, which feels a bit strange. I think I never had that much time off in a row. But there's lots to do at home and a one week holiday so I won't get bored.

But I already started worrying about the next job. It's not my dream job to begin with, I just wanted to get away from my old job. I originally wanted to change fields, but I didn't manage to.
Now the problem ist that I just got reminded again - they told me before but maybe I repressed thinking about it - that I have to start at 8:30 AM the latest. Not very modern. Hey, ever heard of chronotypes, larks and owls? The problem is: getting there will take me 1 to 1,5 hours. That means I'd have to get up at 6 AM every morning. I'm a owl, by the way. That'll be a serious problem for my health...

So, I guess I have to move after all. I like this city and my flat, but I guess I'll have to look for a different place. Well, it gets very hot here in summer and I have problems with my landlord, so maybe it's not a bad idea.
On the other hand, I didn't mean to stay at this next job for too long, so is it worth moving? Maybe I can move to a place from where I can easily get to the next bigger city.

I didn't even start my new job and I'm already worrying and thinking about how long I'll have to stay there!
I hope I can brush these thoughts away and enjoy my time off.


But on a positive note, I got a nice good-bye present with a British theme containing shortbread, Tyrrell's crisps, a London underground tea towel, a London skyline lantern, a Beatles T-shirt and Mac & Cheese (ok, that one isn't British, but I love Mac & Cheese). Read more on this article...

Two out of three ain't bad

Last Monday I quit my job.

From September on I'm going to work at yet another mail order company.
It's not particularly my dream job - it's more a kind of compromise. I had wanted to change my field of work, at least a little bit, and get out of eCommerce. But I didn't want to move, so the choice of jobs was limited. I applied at other companies, but I only got invited to one, and that didn't work out (a shame, it would have been a scientific job). It's really hard to make people see that you can do their work when you've never done it before.

Well, so it's ecommerce again. It seems I kind of became an expert in a field I never even wanted to work in...
I'll have to commute, it's gonna cost a lot more time and money. But I thought I might be able to use that time, maybe catch up on reading books or maybe even surf the internet, check my Twitter or Pinterest (unfortunately mobile internet connection is a little expensive in Germany).
I'll earn a little more, but not as much as I had hoped. I'll also have to work a little more, 40 instead of 37,5 hours per week. So probably, considering the higher costs for commuting, I won't earn more. But money wasn't the main motivation.

I just had to get out of my current job.
I can't deal with my bosses and the atmosphere at work anymore. And who knows? Maybe they wanted me gone. When I told my team leader that I was quitting she wasn't surprised. She said she was sorry - but honestly I didn't think it sounded honest.

So even if this isn't what I had hoped for, I hope it will be a change for the better. The only way to change something about my situation was to change my situation. Read more on this article...

No second chance

I'm cold and hungry and exhausted and I just got a refusal e-mail from a job application.
So I feel like shit.

I'm really, really fed up with my current job. It was good at the beginning, but after several reorganisations and especially with new bosses, it's just torture. I dislike my team leader, I feel exploited, our departement leader is absolutely not qualified. My new team mates are an incredibly stupid and confused girl who can do nothing on her own and opportunist who thinks of everything as "funny" but has a bad taste in jokes. My team leader's not qualified for leadership (and doesn't do any), likes to spend a lot of time on making things pretty, but none on testing functionality and is very good at delegating unpleasant duties. I don't fit into this team anymore.
The only thing I see ahead of me for the next year or so is testing the same thing over and over again (for various reasons); stupid, repetetive work. A waste of my qualifications.
Plus I question a few strategic choices of the management - I am not sure this company will last a few years longer.
From these "10 Signs That It's Time To Leave Your Job" at least 7 apply to my situation.
So I really want to leave there. As soon as possible.

But I don't really want to move.
Finding jobs in my field here is difficult.

I applied at fours jobs so far. And got two refusals. They didn't even invite me to an interview.
I really thought I was qualified for that job. I must have done something wrong. Was the covering letter bad? Am I not as qualified as I thought? Did I want too much money (we could have talked about that)?
In job applications there's only one chance and you never get to know what you did wrong, you never get the chance to do it better next time. There is no next time.

It's really wearing me out. I wonder how much longer I can last.



Well, I guess I'll get something to eat now, turn up the heating and watch some anime or read Natsume's Book of Friends or something.
And maybe I'll feel better afterwards and ready for another day at my crappy job. Read more on this article...

Hire & Fire

Lately I'm not happy at work. It's not the work itself, it's everything surrounding it.
Our departement manager sucks, he annoys everyone with his ignorance and stupidity, and he has hired a girl for my team leader who's not qualified for the job. She's not a team player herself, so she knows nothing about how to lead a team and is doing an awful job at it.
Our company has problems and fired some people, among them some in our departement and in my team. And now another team mate has quit (not surprisingly, she didn't get along with our team leader either). Which leaves our team down from 5 to 2 - my team leader and me.
I work in a mail order company and for some reason there's a rather hostile attitude towards eCommerce (where I work). It results in bad cooperation and last week comparatively many people from our departement were fired, which makes no sense considering the development away from the catalogue towards the internet. It doesn't give one the feeling that this company fit for the future, and the mail order business in Germany is in a tough spot anyway, with two big players already down.

My mum keeps telling me that I should look for another job. But I wasn't sure. I like the work I'm doing and there's some benefits to working in this company, like a 37,5 hrs working week.
But if it's annoying me too much and making me unhappy, should I not leave?
I don't know where to go though. I'd be fine with getting out of eCommerce, I never wanted to work in this area anyway, it just kind of happened. But I like the flat I'm living in, I like the city, it's close to my hometown; I really don't want to move again. And since there are hardly any jobs for me in this city, the alternative would be commuting.
I guess I should start updating my LinkedIn profile...

And another thing I'm worrying about: what if the next place isn't any better? I thought this place was better than the last, and though I like the tasks better, the working environment got worse and worse. How can I know it's not the same at the next job?

I wonder whether I'll find a job that I'll like, even after years, a place where I can stay. Or will I have to change jobs every 2 or 3 years? I don't think I'd like to live that way. Read more on this article...

A month passed

I feel the need to blog about my new job, having spend a month there. But honestly I'm not sure what to say? What is important about starting a new job?

Well, first of all I found that a big part of the team is rather new, as is the organization. Many processes are not efficient or not yet established. For someone new this is a little confusing, but maybe also a chance to shape things.
On the other hand there's a set of Web 2.0 tools that are implemented, a wiki, a company instant messenger, a company-wide social network, and there's going to be more. Unfortunately not a lot of people use them yet, but I'm positive it will get better. To me it shows that at least the IT and a few decision-makers are open minded, looking into the future and trying to adapt and change things.

I've had a hard time finding into my actual job. What do I do there? I'm still not completely sure. As I said, the team I'm in is new and so there's no very clear instruction. But I think I'm getting there, slowly.
My first project will be finishing another project from earlier this year. It proves to be rather tricky because no one really seems to know how it's working. It has been implemented by an external coworker.

My colleagues are nice. There's not a lot of distance to those in higher positions, it seems. This week I was at a conference in a really good hotel with a colleague. I think it shows respect of the people to really send the ones who will have to work with the product. A lot of companies only send managers to such events.
There doesn't seem to be much of a dress code either, which I admit surprised me a little. After all this is a retail company selling clothes and furniture. I mean it's not high class designer products, but not exactly cheap either.
Also I seem to be one of the oldest. It's kind of strange when I think about it: my team leader is 2 years younger than me, the departmement head a few years older and the division manager 10 years older. But since they have more experience and do a different job, in every day work it's not much of a problem.
I'm not sure whether there's potential friends among my colleagues. One actually freaks me out, he always seems to be smirking; I'm trying to ignore it, but it makes me uncomfortable. Amongst the others... it's hard to say. No one I'd spontaneously think as absolutely sympathetic. But it's only been a month. I do miss having someone like my favorite colleague at the old job, someone from another departement with who you can get together from time to time to talk and maybe vent a little.
The IT guys always walk past my desk, and there's one or two good looking ones. ;) But we weren't introduced (yet).

Well, that's it, that's the update after one month of work at the new job. Read more on this article...

What I'll miss

As much as I disliked the other town, there's some thing I will miss here.

Michael, my favourite colleague.
Of course there are nice people here, too, but I really got along very well with him. I trusted him. I could talk about all kind of things with him. He helped me a lot, probably more than he knows. He also had a way to calm me down when I needed it. He's a great guy.

My yoga teacher.
It's not easy finding the right teacher for you. She looked after everyone, so no one would do asanas that weren't good for them. And at the beginning of every course we'd talk a little about an aspect of yoga philosophy.

Living in the city centre.
It's very convenient to live close to all kinds of stores. To be able to go shopping for clothes on your way home instead on Saturdays in packed stores. Most of the street festivals and activities were close by, too.

Ready made fruits in single-friendly portions.
Like that one store always used to have. They also had a small salad buffet. Perfect for single life. Unfortunately I don't live close to one anymore.

Chocolate buns for breakfast.
Sometimes I can't eat much early in the morning, so it was perfect getting something to eat on the way to the bus, or eating it at work while all the programs were booting.


I guess this is a chance to get rid of some bad habits I developed and try to change some things. For example I'll try to wear contacts to work every day (I can't see very well with my glasses). And I want to take up Nordic Walking again.
Unfortunately I'm sure I'll also develop new bad habits. Read more on this article...

Leaving home ain't easy 2

On that Saturday I had to get up earlier than on work days.
I had three more flats to look at and then the plan was to buy a newspaper (since my free trial hadn't arrived yet) and make some calls.

The first flat had no kitchen and a boiler. Otherwise it was really good, enough room, nice surrounding area. I really thought about it.
I met my parents there and we went to the next viewing with the car.

The next one was amazing! It was in a great area, in the backyard in a little house. It had nice two rooms, a nice bath, a little terrace. The owners lived on the second floor, obviously wealthy people.
Unfortunately with 710€ per month it was a little above the limit I set myself. But it was tempting.
They wanted a self-disclosure containing questions about my occupation, musical isntruments I play, pets, warrants and refrences. Wow...

Third place was out of question. The current lodger was very open about that. Washing mashines were only in the cellar, and only two for the whole house. The kitchen and bathroom had no way for venting, it would all go into the living room.

After that my parents and me had a little break in a café and had some cake. We got a newspaper and I was calling all numbers that sounded promising. I managed to get three more viewings that day.

One of them was in a really promising surrounding. Very close to a concert venue and a park; I would have liked to live there. But the flat... It was underneath the roof again, had a boiler and gas heating in only one room and again no room for a washing mashine. It generally looked very old. I just didn't like it very much.

I already nearly gave up hope for the day. I was thinking that I either had to take the first one, or pay for the second one or go looking once more.

But the last flat we looked at was (nearly) perfect! Top floor, two rooms, nice bath, no boiler, a little balcony, storage room. It only has a kitchenette and there's no washing mashine in there now, but the owner said I could install one. The area is great, nice houses, shops close by and a bus stop in front of the door from which the bus takes 15 minutes to my future work place.
We were so happy to finally have found the right place. It turned out that the owner worked for the company I'll be working for for 30 years. He said I should sleep one more night and then say whether I want it, but I was already sure.

So on Sunday I called and went there once more the next week to sign the contract.
I tried to be happy but I still worried about the kitchen and the washing mashine. When I was there it turned out that I probably have to buy half of the kitchen (sink, fridge, etc.) but I can take the rest of what is there for 1000€, including a microwave and an exhaust hood. I have no idea what these things cost, so I said ok.
I was feeling somewhat down on the way home. I was worried about the kitchen and the washing mashine and the fact that I have to live there at least 2 years (it's in the contract). My parents calmed me down a bit. I probably would have had to buy a kitchen anyway.

The balcony:

The kitchenette as it looks now:


I am sure this will be a nice place to live and I'll be happy there. But I'm not really happy yet. There's still a lot of organizing to do, getting a kitchen, moving the stuff, installing the washing mashine. *sigh*
I'm looking forward to the time when all this is over and settled with. I didn't quite think that moving was such a big deal, it somehow wasn't when I last moved (we were really, really lucky with this flat I think). Good thing I didn't know that before I chose to change jobs, I might not have done it. Read more on this article...

Leaving home ain't easy 1

It really isn't easy.

First of all I ordered a free trial of the local newspaper and did some research on the internet. I also put an ad myself in the newspaper.
So after using my cell phones as much as never before, I had three flats to visit on a Wednesday afternoon. I left directly from work, the train takes about 1,5 hours.

The first flat I looked at was nice. The house was build in the same way as the house my parents live in. But it was way too small, I had overlooked that the ad said it only has 32 square metres.
The second one was nice, too. The busline to work was close by. It was, well, generally really nice. But somehow... Maybe it was the way the prospective landlord (living in the same house underneath) kept asking me whether I can clean up. Maybe the very boring, middle-class surrounding. It just didn't feel quite right.
The last one was really pretty. Very nice surroundings, tram stop right in front. A maisonette top floor flat with two really nice rooms. But the kitchen and bath were very small and I couldn't have taken my washing machine with me, but would have had to walk down into the cellar every time to do the laundry and pay extra for it.
I got home sometime after 10 PM that day without having seen a good place. I felt slightly panicky. I felt like I should have taken the second one - after all there was no rational reason why I shouldn't.

What I hated about the whole ordeal is that you have to tell people asap whether you want it or not. After all you're merely one of a dozen interested parties.
But not only do I hate making decisions, but it's worse when you have to say no to one thing with nothing but the hope to find something better. I just don't feel comfortable in such situations.

I was really tired, but did not have much time to rest: on Saturday I would have another tour of looking at flats, this time with my parents supporting me. Read more on this article...

"I quit."

Monday I did nothing yet. I was terribly nervous about what I had to do. It was worse than the actual job interview. I had my yoga course in the evening, that calmed me down a bit.

On the next day the first thing I did was drop the contract for the new job in the mail.
At work I broke the news to my team leader. That was hardest.
It's hard for our team to lose another one, I know that. In the past two years while I was working there, one after the other quit (for various reasons), each time it was connected with a loss of knowledge that made work harder for the remaining. Next month the only one left from the original team will go. We still have no one to fill in for him. And now me. I feel sorry for my colleagues, but I can't stay just because of that.
After talking to my team leader we went straight to the department manager. In the afternoon we broke the news to my team.
After that I met with my favourite colleague in the canteen and had a hot chocolate to relax a bit. It was good talking to him, though he knew about it since Monday. He always manages to calm me down and make me feel better, he helped me a lot through this. I'll miss him.

It felt surreal. I have been through this several times, but it was always other people quitting. This time it was me.
And even though I know I have another job waiting for me, it feels awkward.

On Wednesday morning I finally got to talk with the IT division manager and from that on it was official. My team leader wrote a mail to everyone in IT.

The written notice took a little longer though. I talked with the workers council to make sure I did everything right. They pointed out that things might be different because it might be a tranfer within the corporation. So there was another delay because I first had a talk with the HR department. Turned out that everything had to go its normal way, so I left the letter I had written before there.

The talks got easier and easier every time. Who would have thought that quitting your job included so much talking? I didn't have so many meetings within one week for months.

The only thing left to do in February was to cancel the tenancy. The problem is that I couldn't find my rental agreement. I went through all papers lying around (something that needed to be done badly), but no luck. In the end I just wrote a short letter, I guess it'll be alright.
I have to find the contract in the next months though, to make sure everything is alright when I hand over the keys.

Now I can relax a bit, all that had to be done within February to be able to start in the new job in June is done.
Now I have time to plan and organize. I got a notebook that I will divide into two parts: one for my old place, one for the new. There I'll note what needs to be done, who sends me post here, how much space my furniture needs, etc. Read more on this article...

A new hope

There will be a change, a new start.

On Friday I had a second job interview, they offered me the job. I took the contract home with me to read it, sign it and send it back.
It all went very fast and very good. "Too good to be true", a little suspicious voice inside me thinks.

Actually when I decided to start applying I planned to go abroad. I thought it was a good time, I have some work experience, no partner, no pets and I feel lonely and out of place where I live now anyway. I wanted to go to Ireland or UK.
A search didn't turn up a lot of suitable jobs though, it seemed that mostly companies seemed to look for more work experience.
Instead I found this company (belonging to the same corporation at the one I work for now) looking for a usability expert. I am none, but I 'd like to be, so I applied. Now they hired me for another job, process manager. A smaller step maybe, but non the less a step. A step away from programming and coding, towards more project management and conceptual work.
People seem to be really nice there. Apparently they liked my somewhat "freakish" personality.

This is my first time changing jobs. It's the first time quitting a job. It's the first time completely moving from one place to another.
The doubts and the worries are now kicking in.
What do I do next? When and how do I quit my job? How do I tell my team leader that he'll lose another employee when another one who'll quit isn't even replaced yet? Until when do I have to terminate the rental contract? How do I find a new place to live? How do I move? Do I have to renovate my old flat? How much will it all cost? Where to do I have to send notices of me moving? How will work feel after everyone knows I resigned from my job? How will the new job be? Will I be able to make friends? Will the work be good and interesting and will I be able to handle it all?
All these questions and more go through my head. I'm trying to calm down and think in little steps. What has to be done next? Read more on this article...